THOUGHTS .

It's something which I relate to a lot these days. 

It's been almost a month since I left school and I have yet to find something to do (or find a job), but actually I have been spending the past month quite fruitful? Like I try to find something meaningful to do each day so I wouldn't feel empty. But the empty feeling still exists.

Wanted to find part time jobs to do but there's a part in me which finds it rather reluctant because it's only for a few months. I often feel nervous meeting new people and I'm quite a shy awkward introvert. What if they are not friendly? What if I wouldn't be able to click well with them? There's a lot of "what ifs" I always have when I am in an unfamiliar situation or when things don't go as expected. 

I feel that everyone has something about themselves which they refuse to face or be in denial about it, avoiding it and giving all sorts of excuses so as to not face it. Everyone has a fear of something and there will definitely be times where you would need to face these fears and rise to the challenge. Sometimes, there's a lot of "what ifs" which might come to our minds first and most of the thoughts are negative, which will make us avoid facing the problem more. 

However, not everyone is able to face them confidently and then end up being defeated and then feel lousy about themselves, leading to lowered self-esteem. Sometimes there are many expectations for you, and you yourself have set expectations for yourself too. When you don't achieve the expectations, you feel dejected as a result. You get judgements and criticisms which doesn't help the situation. Sometimes, people might say things which may accidentally hurt you as a result, and you might feel judged. But you know they don't mean it, but you just feel abit affected inside. 

Sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone and go out to see how it is really like out there. Although we might have our worries about it, it should be fine to give it a go. Be brave and take the first step. Don’t lose yourself worrying about something that may not even happen. You never know what outcome would it be if you don't try.