FEAR OF UNKNOWN .

It's been a long time since I had sometime to myself to chill out and actually have the time and effort to blog - been so busy (and lazy) to actually sit in front of my laptop to type out my thoughts and so recently I just have a lot of thoughts in my mind and needed somewhere to release all these feelings so here I am typing this blogpost in the midst of chaos and dusts (literally - my house is undergoing some renovations so it's in a mess right now)

So anyway I have been feeling some form of uncertainties in life - whereby there will be many instances where I start to question myself alot if I am able to do it? Will I do it well? Should I do this or do that? There's this part of me who wants to do things perfectly to the best of my abilities yet there's a bigger part of me who's always fearful and thinking if this would work out or not. Perhaps I'm not fully confident, always fearing for the worst. But that's human nature right? 

People seem to think quite highly of me and yet I feel like I have to live up to their expectations, but always not able to please them. I know that in life, it's hard to please everyone but I always feel very sorry when I'm not able to be of any help in achieving what they think of me. I don't think such a mindset would work well but here I am just living each day in denial and letting the days pass by like this, hoping that what I fear for will not come to reality.

Feel like I'm not deserving of the good words. Perhaps, it's a chance to take for self-improvement, but I'm still in fear of the unknown future. 

I'm not ready yet. 

and I never will be.