THANK YOU, NEXT .

Not sure why but recently keep having this self-doubting feeling of myself and it makes me think a lt at night and end up sleeping later and later because of such night thoughts and ended up reading Thought Catalog but this is one of my favourite piece which got me thinking even more (not helping)

"Everyone has moments of weakness, moments where they wish it would all end and just be silent for a while, but the truth is that feeling will pass. That feeling won’t stay there forever, even if it feels like you’ve got a black cloud hanging over your head know it won’t be there forever. Know it will clear up.

The truth is it’s good to question things. It’s good to question your life and your purpose because it means you want more out of life. It’s a step in the right direction.

You matter, you are enough, you have a purpose. You might not know your purpose yet but don’t give up before you figure it out. You never know what greatness life has in store for you, you never know what accomplishments are still to come for you.

Just because things haven’t been going well for you right now at this time in your life doesn’t mean it will always be this way. Things won’t always be this way, things will get better, things will change and wounds will heal, maybe not completely, maybe the scars will always be there, but the gaping wound will heal to a certain extent."

But it really comes to a point that when you think you have done your best but it's not enough and not what everyone expects of you, it leads people to think you're not as capable as compared to others. People say it's sufficient when you do your best because you have no regrets, yes that part is true but this further shows that "your best" is not up to standard and expectations, which makes things even more disappointing.

Then another point of this unknown future of mine has been a problem I face for the longest of time in which I don't know what I want to do in the future and not have that much of ambitions as others which make me doubt myself even more. Am I cut out to do bigger things in life? Am I ready to face the world?

I hate this inferiority complex I have of myself but not going to lie and be truthful with myself but not everything will go well as expected because life is just full of unknowns and uncertainties which I somehow do not want to face them. Many of my friends agree that it's really tough to not compare with others but there's this bittersweet feeling whenever people put you down just to praise others which does not help anything but make things worse.

To be the better version of myself - but there's the rest of the harsh and cold world out there, life is not as easy. All I need is just someone to tell me I'm doing well, I'm doing good. I don't need to be the best but I just need to be reassured that I'm doing fine.

Sometimes I'm just tired of living. Living this frustrating life and having to please people.