四年 后 | #30DAYS .

[Day 16- A heartbreaking event you experienced recently]

Before starting on today's blog post, I didn't have any idea on what to write. There isn't something very heartbreaking which I have experienced recently, albeit there has been negative feelings but nothing very heartbreaking. So my friend suggested to me to write about an event which has been pretty personal to me and deep in my heart.

It's been a long time since I talked about this and it has really made a huge impact on my life and it's something which I hope I would not ever experience again. The five days was the lowest period of my life.

Being together under the same roof for 15 years and then suddenly, she's no longer there anymore. I had a lot of regrets thinking about it, being willful and not facing the fact during the last few days. I was in delusion that what I feared for would happen. But ultimately, it was inevitable.

I still remember the night before, we had our last conversation. I still remember the details and even though she wasn't really in her right frame of mind already, she was still caring for our well-being and asking if we have eaten. I was really upset and in pain seeing her suffer, in fact the final few days, I tried to not think of the bad side but things did not seem to be so bright. I tried to stay strong and put on a strong positive front, so not to let them worry but after the demise, I couldn't hold it back.

I remember that morning, my aunt went into my room, broke the news to me, we cried together. She told me to control my feelings and that we should not be too sad but upon going into her room and calling her for the last time 'mama', I broke down. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

typing this post brings back a lot of memories 

4 years on.

Remembering the happy memories and the sad memories. I have learnt a lot from her and I have learnt a lot from this experience. After that five days, I finally understood the importance of cherishing the people around you, and not having any regrets. Missing you.

我和您共同的那些回忆，
我永远会记住的。
您最后一次对我说的那几句话，
我也会记得的。

没有你的日子，
感觉缺少了什么似的，
空荡荡的，
再也无法听到您的笑声了

永远记住，#想念你 的

x